My name is Tamar, I'm 16 and this is where I say what I want to say you dumb African
"Life it’s self is only a vision, a dream, nothing exists in an empty space. And you... you are nothing but a thought. "

Long time no talk lol.
I don't want to explain what happen with people and shit, it's not important, whole point is me and Sarkis are back together...

February 27th was the day I met Sarkis, so I "celebrated" that by getting into a big fight with him and ended up not talking to him because he never called, I ended up getting drunk then calling him, he was half asleep while I balled my eyes out and told him stuff. On March 3rd, which is tomorrow, it will be the day he first told me he loved me and on March 17th is our one year anniversary... I'm going to try and see him for march break, we haven't seen each other for 6 months. Since October I have not seen my boyfriend. It's hard and I have this huge anxiety on my chest because I miss him so much. It's the worst missing someone... especially when you're in a long distance relationship... it hurts and it fucking sucks. I've never wanted someones touch so badly in my life... like... I want his arms around me more than his lips on mine... I literally just want to be held for hours when I see him, I don't want him to let go. He hurts me, yes, sometimes we don't know why we bother with each other, we fight, a lot, we argue, he pisses me off so much that I want to kill him or just cut him from my life... yet... through all the negative... I can't see myself with anyone else. I don't see anyone loving me the way he does... touching me the way he does... I just can't. I know I annoy people when I talk about him, and everyone is probably fed up about hearing him... well I'm sorry... but he's the only significant thing in my life... other than him, I've got nothing to say.

Anyways, On feburary 27th, it was also the day my mom left for Lebanon, she'll be gone for a month. Things so far are going great, my dad is actually being nice, he's cooking which is a shock, I don't know, not much to say there lol.

I want to say more about the Sarkis... but at the same time I don't lol... I'll say this though... something isn't sitting right with me right now. I feel like he's hiding something from me, or doing something with another girl... it's the same feeling I got on Halloween.. and some of us know what happen then... I was right about what was going to happen, I knew something was going to happen, and what happen? exactly what I thought would happen... it's the same feeling, and really and truly, I don't like it. There's so much I could say... but I can't... unfortunately.


RATxo