My name is Tamar, I'm 16 and this is where I say what I want to say you dumb African
"Life it’s self is only a vision, a dream, nothing exists in an empty space. And you... you are nothing but a thought. "

Hi… Today was possibly the scariest day of my life. I had an anxiety attack today at school and like I couldn’t breathe and it was so hot and I felt like I was going to puke and shit. It started at school during lunch; I went into the boy’s bathroom, into the stall, and then it started, Alisha came in and then Sonia, and then Sonya and then Suneel and then Ivan lol, and yeah all my friends and I couldn’t breathe it was so hard and I was dizzy and I almost fainted like a bunch of times and what not. Then there like to take me out of the stall so I got out and I went into the corner and then it got worse to the point where they were like take her down and shit, so they tried and help me up but I kept like falling and I was so dizzy, and then I walked down enough until I got to the steps went down the first 4 and we went really slow so Ivan’s like we need to pick her up, so they picked me up AND EXPOSED MY STOMACH ;8, and yeah got me down, then I got to the office and sat in a wheel chair, I was shaking and about to pass out and shit, then the paramedics came and helped a little I got pale and they had to put this mask thing on me, the oxygen mask I think and yeah, after a little longer the ambulance people came and what not, helped me calm down and my breathing went back to normal, then they took me to the hospital I was there for a while and yeah. So they found out what happened and why it happened and now I have to go to counseling and talk to someone because I have an eating disorder and that’s why I need to talk to them about. And about my self esteem and shit. So yeah that was my day.


xoRAT

Labels: accidents, anxiety attack, life

I would like to start this off by saying LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to the hack by my lover hahah, I love you Taline <3
Second thing is this....

I’m not scene, I’m not emo, I’m not a rocker, I’m not a prep, I’m not goth and I’m not a thug. I’m nothing close to your pathetic little labels, I am myself you should try it some time. I’ve changed so much in the last couple years, and guess what, I’m still changing. I’m honest, extremely blunt. Don’t like it? Don’t ask me for my honest opinion. My ears are gauged and my septum is pierced, I have a tattoo. I am single and not looking for an online relationship. I’m throwing away my past and starting fresh. No more regrets, no more lies, no more fake friends and no more pathetic little crushes that go nowhere but me getting hurt. Someone will eventually come....right? My name is Tamar and this is who I am. I was born in the 90’s and I love it. There are only 3 people I trust more than anything. I am a virgin, is that wrong? I don’t think so, I am proud as fuck to be a virgin and not be a lose slut like a lot of people think I am. But hey whatever I don’t care, you want to think that about me go right ahead, I know the truth and all you know are the little lies that you think are the truth and yet still choose to believe them because maybe, just maybe in that process of the person telling you, which was probably a slut herself, was angry at me for some stupid reason and thought to herself, “hey I’ll make up a rumor that Tamar sucks dick and has sex with a bunch of people because you know what, I just don’t like her and me being the slut in the situation dosen't help, so that’s what I’m going to tell everyone so I look like a virgin and she looks like a whore :D” Yeah say what you want, you’re still going to be the pathetic little slut making shit up about me and in the end, who’s still on her knees sucking dick and having sex with random people? Not me that’s for sure :). There’s not much to say about me, but at the same time there’s so much you can say. I’m funny, extremely odd, I will creep you out, and if I don’t creep you out I will make you laugh. I’ve gone through my set of pain and I’ve grown stronger from it I guess. I’m easy to talk to; I actually listen and actually care. I fall in love too easy, but I live through it. I love history and I’m pretty good at it, I love art and apparently I’m pretty good at that too. Well that’s all for now I suppose, byebyeeee


xoRAT

Labels: life, taline

HACKED... By Taline! Right now, I'm at your house! And your sleeping! But you don't know that I am hacking you.. I didn't mean to, I wanted to log in into my account on blogger and you already were sighned in so MIGHT ASWELL hack chu telling CHU how much I love CHUUU.
This much!
No.. This much!
No.. This much!
No.. This much! ;o
<333333333333333333

gurlll we need to have babies. dude i'm so mad though >:( if we go to yorkdale tomorrow i'm going to look like SHITTTTT >:( !!
xoxoxoxoxoox

Labels: taline

Today is Tuesday, February, 17th, 2009… you know why this date is so special to me? because today….today is the day I got my septum pierced :D hheheheheh I’ve been waiting FOREVER to get this and now I finally have it and I am so fucking happy :D:D:D:D:dslfjwkjhgkeginb and yes… yes it hurt a lot. Okay actually it really wasn’t THAT bad, but it only hurt a shit load because the girl pierced it, and then it was like too high up or something so she had to RE pierce it ;8 UGH. Totally worth it though :D I’m so fucking happy you don’t understand heheheh. My sister got her belly button pierced, it literally too like a second o.o… the lady put the clamp on, then pushed it through, my sister wasn’t ready for that LOL, she was so shocked LOLOOL god her face was priceless haha. Omg when she was piercing me I was crying for dfays LOL, not because it hurt, but just because of where she was piercing, you always get teary eyed piercing your septum, but since she was like taking days to do mine I was like a waterfall LOL but yeah I’m so happy I got it done :) I can’t wait to change the jewelry into one of my own where you can see it more :P heheh. GAHH IM SO HAPPYYY :d;FD;FDS’;F;ERJGLWH


xoRAT

Labels: life, septum

Yesterday honestly has to be one of the best days of my life lol.
Okay yesterday after school Alisha said how she was going to come over my house right, and I’m like kay. So we get home and then we were really hungry so Salpy took us to McDonald, yo BEST time EVER. We were creeping the FUCK out of these 3 girls this who looking nasty purple shirt pedophile man LMFAO! It was so funny we were all choking on our McDonald and DYING of laughter :) Then after we got back me and Alisha went to the basement after more LOL’s with Salpy in my room haha, we watched “My Best Friends Girl” funny as FUCK! After the movie me and Alisha went back upstairs and we started talking with Salpy more and I said to Alisha because we were all lolling and something reminded me of the night when we were on E with Jolanta and I was like “*HAHAHAHAHAHAH* JUST LIKE THE NIGHT WHEN WE WERE ON E!!! *HAHAHAHAHA*” and then Salpy asked how it feels and shit then after she was like “want to do it? :|” and me and Alisha were all ;D. So whole point is we got 3 E pills and did them yesterday LOL it was so much fun you don’t understand! Like I was DYING we have so many quotes from yesterday….this morning? Lol GOD I would totally replay that night/day again if I could haha :D! Memories for days <3 so right now me and Alisha are getting ready to go to Manderin and then were going to go to woodbine at night time to hopefully watch Friday 13th :P I wanted Robert to come SOOO bad because I miss him so much :(… but whatever it’s okay I guess :\ OH I sort of wanted to go to Yorkdale but that’s okay. Anyways I’m going to go and get ready.



xoRAT

Labels: crush, drugs, family, friends, life, movies, yorkdale

Well do I have a fucking story for you guys ;8
Okay well today I didn’t go to school because I’m a little sick, my mother on the other hand thinks it’s because I slept at 12, yeah OKKKAAYYY. Anyways after my mom left for work around 1 something I went on the computer, did a couple facebook notes then finished my resume,. I finished my resume around like 6, got to Alisha’s house, I rode my bike to her house -_-‘ by the time I got there I was sweaty and a little wet because of the mist and it was spitting u_u. After Jake called Alisha and said how he’s going to pick us up and take us to woodbine so after that we got at woodbine, watched Caroline. And to be honest that movie was………omg.. LOL I really liked it LOL it was so creepy!! Omg I couldn’t believe that, that’s a children’s movie ;8 LOL. Anyways after NO ONE WAS GOING TO PICK US UP! NOT MY SISTER, NOT MY BROTHER NOT JAKE! NO ONE! And that’s not the worst part…. WE HAD NO MONEY FOR BUS FAIR ;;8;8;8;8;8; SO YOU KNOW WHAT WE ENDED UP DOING?? ME AND ALISHA WALKED IN THE POURING RAIN FROM WOODBINE ALL THE WAY TO HER HOUSE AND FROM HER HOUSE I HAD TO WALK BY MYSELF, IN THE DARK ALL ALONE IN THE POURING RAIN! Me and her were SOAAAAKED from head to fucking toe! And then while we were walking, come fucking van purposely came and went into the fucking puddle of water and soaked us even more! Dude the water when completely over us like a tidal wave!!! It was so fucked up! UGGGGHHH. I so got more sick then I was ;8;8;8;8; Oh well :\ it was pretty fucking awesome and me and her shall NEVER forget this night. I LOVE YOU ALISHAAAAA <3333333333333333333



xoRAT

Labels: friends, life, movies, rain, sick

Hey everyone…. LOL… yeah… been a while :P
So updates from then until now, Okay well I got my cell phone, THE ONE I WANTED :D I met some random people on Alisha’s birthday which was on Sunday, February, 1st, 2009 :D ummm 2 of them like me but one of the guys that like me is SO fucking ugly LOL like he looks like he’s 30 LOL AND HE’S 15 yeah OKAYYY ;8;8;8.. Anyway the other guy that likes me is actually kind of cute but I don’t like him :) Me and Robert are friends right now, and maybe one day we might be more then friends but I’m not sure. Next weekend I might just be sleeping over Alisha’s house…well at least that’s what my mom thinks ;) me, Alisha, Jake and HOPEFULLY Robert are all going to go to the movies, eat out, then come back to Jake’s place and get drunk. And when I say drunk I mean fucking SMASHED I want to be so fucking drunk tomorrow… like BADLY drunk LOL I really do :D. Anyways umm.. from now on I’m seriously going to try my best to blog more haha I know I write one like every week, but I’m going to try and change that to everyday. Anyways my marks for last semester were SHIT, hopefully I can change and get them up. OH I got a new computer desk so now I can actually do my homework and talk to people, YAY NO MORE BOOTLEG STUFF ;D lol okay I really am craving that soup my mom made yesterday so after this I’m going to go heat some up and eat it, then I have to wait like an hour then shower, then find my bag and then sleep and go to school tomorrow. OH I have to do my History and science FUCK I’m failing already ;8;8; GOD DAMN ITTT okay At lunch I’m going to get my books and do work and not talk to my friends, I need to finish it. ANYWAYS IM GOING TO SCADDADLE BECAUSE I WANT THAT FUCKIGN SOUP, byeee xxx



xoRAT

Labels: cell phone, crush, friends, life, randoms, school