Vintage Vanity.

RATxo Blog.

My name is Tamar, I'm 16 and this is where I say what I want to say you dumb African
"Life it’s self is only a vision, a dream, nothing exists in an empty space. And you... you are nothing but a thought. "

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

" instead of sneaking out, let’s get drunk "

I was going to write a blog yesterday but I got lazy so I didn't D: ANYWAYS yesterday was fucking AMAZING!! Okay so I was talking to Alisha on MSN right? And she's like "what time do you want me to come to your house??" and WHATEVER THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT! whole point is, Jean (John) was like how me and her are chilling, I’m like "yeah she's sleeping over my house" then he asked if he could chill with us, I’m like OKAY :D... Because like he was in Cuba and I missed this lil nigguhhh LOL. So yeah Alisha got to my house and we started getting ready to go to the mall. So I asked my brother to drive us, but he started snapping and saying no, then he's like "Do I have any keys? Dad took mine" (don't ask why) so I go to my dad and started fighting with him, then I’m like "FUCK IT THEN WE'LL FUCKING WALK, FUCK :@" so we walked to woodbine. LOL okay I lied, we walked down to Westwood and took a bus. There was so many fucking pedophiles on their it's not even funny, I was so scared ;8. Okay so yeah, we get to Woodbine and we go straight down to see if we can find Jean because we told him to meet us in the front of the ticket both thing for the movies at 5 and well it was 5, so we go down and yeah he's not there so we leave to go get my gauges :D I GOT TUNNEELLSSSSSS WOOOO!!!... Now I need to get 00 in a taper, Because Jake CLEARLY didn't get me them for me -___-‘, then 00 in tunnels, then just keep going :D(Y). Okay so after that, we went back to the movies thing and found Jean, bought our tickets, we watched "Yes Man"...I’ll get to the movie in a bit... so after we got our tickets we went upstairs and got Subway too eat :D... or Mr. Sub, but honestly I don't see the difference. Took a couple pictures, made a video, then went to Tim Horton’s, I got a French Vanilla :D, Jean and Alisha got Ice Caps + a crescent :O!..mmmm I kind of want one now... Okay so yeah, after that we walked a little more then went into the movie, made another video and took a bunch of pictures, OH! We also took pictures in that photo both thing before that LOL, they turned out amazing....Alisha apparently has a tooth missing LMOFA!!... Okay so yeah to the movie.......funniest shit I’ve ever fucking seen. That movie was AMAZING! That’s a movie I think I could watch over, and over, and over and over again and the jokes will never get old. Like.....ugh god I can't even explain to you LOL. So yeah after the movie me and Alisha left Jean, went back to my house and chilled. So my plans for that night was to sneak out and see Jake, and Alisha cover for me if anything... but then she had a great idea..."Tamar....instead of sneaking out, let’s get drunk!..Because like I’m really scared, I don’t know what to do"....o).....me being the idiot I am, I agreed.. LOL... but I’m happy I did, it was SIIIIIIIICKKKKK... Little does Alisha know, we drank the HARDCORE liquor so in like 3 shots we would be gone........yeah we took more than 3 shots.... we had like a good cup each......took that shit STRAIGHT o.o.... FUCK we were so drunk LMFAO! At like 1:30ish we called Jake and honestly..........we were on the phone ALL night o.o.....until he went to work at like 6am. I can't even explain to you, how funny last night was.....like SOOOO much was exposed LOLLL. Let’s just hope what was said last night stays between the 3 of us…because like…..TOOOO much exposure LOL…well this blog is pretty long so ima finish it up. Today is New Years Eve!! :D! Taline’s coming over! WOOO :D :D! So tonight should be fun ;p…I’ma call Jake at exactly 12 and wish him a happy new year :)… God I really like him *blushes*…….I don’t know, he confuses me :( …. Ugh whatever, I’m fucking hungry. Anyways I’m going to go get something to eat, then chill on the computer and wait for Alisha to wake up because she’s sleeping on my bed right now lol. Bye xxx

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, crush, friends, gauges, movies, New Years, taline

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

" Now were stuck inside this big love circle." - btw 60th blog

I want this guy named Jake.
But Jake wants this girl named Alisha.
Alisha doesnt like Jake.
But Jake likes Alisha.
Alisha loves this guy named Chase.
But Chase likes/loves this girl Emily (iuno her real name)
But Emily hurts Chase and Alisha is always there to pick up the peices.
Now Jake says he wants me, But he's still in love with Alisha.
Alisha wants Jake to get over her and go with me
I pray that he will be with me.
Alisha wants Chase to like her and want her
I want Jake to want me and have me.
The joke of this whole story is.
Were all friends.
Alisha is one of my best friends.
Jake and Alisha dated, But you see... Alisha didn't know that they were dateing.
They broke up and i was there to pick up the peices.
Me and Jake dated...........for 3 days until we broke up because he still loves Alisha.
Now were stuck inside this big love circle.
I want Jake. But Jake wants Alisha. Alisha wants Chase. But Chase wants Emily

Labels: crush

Monday, December 29, 2008

" so we can talk and I can find things out "

Hey everyone I know I haven’t written a blog in a while, I’ve just been going through some stuff. I would love to explain what happen but I’m just not in the mood hehe. Anyways umm, there’s really not much to talk about… I’ve just been really stressed out and there’s so much going on with me and Jake and Alisha... it’s too much for me. I’m really worried about him, and like everything that’s going on between me and him is really hurting me… :(… I just…. I just don’t know what to do anymore… I’m so confused. I wish he would talk to me and tell me what’s going on with him… HELL I fucking wish my fucking mom would let me go out so I can fucking see him so we can talk and I can find things out :(… whatever today I’m going to talk to him if he comes online and as soon as he does I’m going to say I want him to call me. I want to hear his voice when he’s talking to me so I know what the fuck is going on. It’s like… UGH I can’t even explain to you how much stress I’m under because of him and this stupid shit. Like I want it to end and get it over with, I’m like so lost and I feel like crying and like…. I DON’T FUCKING KNOW OH MY GOD UGGHHHH >:(.. I’m so pissed off with him, and like I want to beat him up and I don’t know… I wish he would stop doing this to me. He has no idea how much I really do like him, and it hurts because he doesn’t even feel the same. Sure he thinks I’m pretty, but he doesn’t like, like me… He doesn’t want me….FUCK NOT AGAIN... okay before I get hyped I’m just going to stop the blog and yeah. Later.

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, crush, friends

Friday, December 26, 2008

My boyfriend of three days broke up with me

So me and my boyfriend broke up. Don't ask i'm to lazy to explain what happend. But were over. So just thought you'd like to know. And i'm not mad at him lol, its actually fine with me, he still had feelings for an ex and didn't want to lead me on. It's fine :) besides we were great friends to begin with so it's going to stay like that :). Anyways the right one will come sooner or later.

xoRAT

Labels: boyfriend

Thursday, December 25, 2008

" the fucker speeds up and fucking hits our fucking car "

Okay so I almost died today everyone. Would you like to know the story?...okay well lets start at the beginning. I woke up, went on the computer, then BAM my moms like kay go get ready were going to our cousins house. And I didn’t really want to go, the only reason I went is because of my sister, she's like "don't leave me alone with them ;8 awb" so I’m like fine ill go. So I got up and got ready, I wore this stripped t-shit, with black tights and my uggs, I looked fabulous LMFAO. Anyways, we get there right, and in the front is were visitors can park, we went around and there was no parking, so my mom goes down this other way were you can park, and while going down this hill, there’s a SHIT load of fucking ice on the road. So we get down swerving a bit, but we got down. So were thinking that were going to get a parking space, go inside and be all happy…..we were wrong......there was no parking space -_-'... so my mom turns around and starts to go back. So like I said there’s a shit load of ice on this road, no salt to help break it down, nothing's been moved. NOTHING! So my mom try’s to go up but our car wouldn't go, she kept pressing on the gas but nothing. So now my mom keeps trying and at this point the car now is turning to the side a bit because of the fucking ice. So we were going to back up and try again, but then my sister noticed this car coming down the hill. Now were already stuck, there's ice all over this road, and now we have this fucking van coming at us ;8. Now this guy had his lights on, he saw us, so instead of STOPING, the fucker speeds up and fucking hits our fucking car!!! So now our car starts spinning in circles, and almost flips over but it manages not to, thank Jesus. So now our car is like blocking the whole area, so no one can really go up, or down. Now luckily again, we had these people in there car at the bottom, and they saw the whole thing, I’ll get to them in a minute. So my sister was the first one to get out of the car and start snapping on the guy, my mom had a small nervous break down in the car, then got out and snapped on the man, then I got out and started snapping on him lol. After we yelled at him, the people who saw what happened, got out and asked if we were okay, and were like were fine, just our car is fucked now. Oh yeah by the way the damage to the car really isn’t much, just the corner of the bumper is broken. Anyways, we were all okay, so after a while we called down some of my cousins to come help, and more people that we didn’t know came, and like yeah. So I don't really know what my mom is going to do, if she’s going to sue the building for not putting salt on the ice to get rid of it, OH and not to mention, the other and only other exit is covered by a huge pile of snow that they moved when they were clearing the roads. Like are you kidding me? This building is so ignorant. Like shit, one of the exits is covered in ice; the other is covered in a pile of snow. Like shit. Ugh whatever, it was so cold LOl. I keep thinking about it though, what if he went just a little faster, what if our car tipped over. Would o have died? o.o.....god it was pretty scary. But after all of it was cleared up and shit we went inside and enjoyed ourselves. It was okay, everyone was actually nice to me O.O...And I don’t know it was kind of fun. Whatever though, it pisses me off that all the bad shit always happens to happen to me and my family. It's like we can never have one day where everything is good. And my dad has been so happy in the last few days; this whole thing really pissed him off. We really don't have the money to pay for stupid shit like this. After a couple hours we left, and my cousin was going to get our car our for us, tell me why he does it so amazingly, and when he comes up he’s like, “there’s fucking salt on it now” only reason why is because my mom, I think, called the manager or whatever and was like put salt or I’m suing heheh. But yeah. OH and there was this other car in the front waiting for someone I guess, and like I already looked kind of like sexy I guess, I mean, tights, only a shirt, uggs, skinny little girl standing in front of these pedophiles…..like…. it was kind of creepy, they kept checking me out and trying to call me over. It was creepy, they kept honking, then when my mom asked me to go near there car and tell her if I could see my cousin, my sister came with me and they honked there horn and was yelling for someone, my sister said in Armenian “enough already fuck” then I turned to the guys and gave them a dirty look and one of them was like “oh don’t mind us were just waiting for someone” and I’m like “no one ever cared what you were doing” lol… so yeah when we left I was really happy haha….fucking pedophiles ;8. Well that was my near death experience everyone. Bye bye <333

xoRAT

Labels: accidents, christmas, family, life

"your complaining about your gift?"

Hey everyone. I'm back from the Christmas party at my cousin’s house and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. By the time everyone came, it was time for us to eat, so i got my food and all of the kids went downstairs. We had a good talk i guess...until we got onto the topic of music and I was like "eww you have the ugly songs from Pink" my sister was like "yo she’s hot" and I’m like "yeah I know! She’s like....;8....dellllllllicious ;8" then my cousin was like "so tam you still eating girls?" then they just kept talking about how I was bi and shit and it hurt a lot. Then they started talking about something else that kind of hurt but I forgot lol. Whatever though :\. Umm after that we opened up our presents, I got and Mp3 player, holds up to like 2 thousand plus songs. Pretty good I guess, I wanted an IPod, but whatever holds the same amount of songs so I don't really care. But the thing that pissed me off was that my fucking 10 year old cousin gets an IPod touch and I’m stuck with this piece of shit, so my mom looks at me she’s like "that’s the one you wanted?" I’m like "yeah, but its okay the one I have is fine" then she’s like "next year I’ll get you that one okay?" I’m like "mmkay:)" it was really cute how my mom reacted when she saw the IPod my cousin got she just looked so disappointed that I didn't get EXACLY the one I wanted, and that she couldn’t get it for me, but you know I was just thankful I at least HAVE something to use. So she shouldn't be upset. But that’s not what pissed me off, what pissed me off was one of my cousins was helping clan up the wrapping paper and my mom was like "so Tamar, you like your gift?" I’m like "yeah, I still kind of wanted an IPod though, but its okay, holds the same amount" then my cousin, who is like in her 30's i might add, came in and was like "your complaining about your gift?" and I’m like "no I wasn’t, I just said that I wanted an ipod but I’m happy with this one because it holds the same amount of songs" and she just like rolled her eyes and walked away and said something about me but I didn’t hear it. And like ever since I got there, she was being a complete bitch to me and I didn’t even do anything. It's fucking sad. Whatever. Anyways after that we chilled and played with the Wii, my younger cousin got a Wii Fit LMFAO! so we played with it, it was actually really fun ahha. I found out that I’m at a healthy weight hehehe, makes me happy :). Umm after that I chilled with my cousins a little more then I got tired so I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t D: so when I woke up I was pretty grumpy, plus with my period I was just mad, I wanted to go home, like its 4 a fucking clock ;8. So after like 30 minutes or so we left. While we were in the car, my dad was like “Tamar” and I’m like “yeah” he’s like “did you like your gift?” I’m like “yeah” he’s like “good, good, I picked it out” I’m like “IIIIM sure you did” then he was like after a good few seconds “…….what was it again?” LOL! I don’t know I thought that was really finny when he said it. Anywhoo's I’m going to put the songs on my Mp3 player then head off to bed. Night night and Merry Christmas everyone who lurks my blogs (Y)(G)(L):D

xoRAT

Labels: christmas, family, period

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

12/24/08 :)

Before I start this blog I would like to say that today I got my period and I am in pain, but very happy it came. NOW I'm writing the date in my blog title because this is the date of my FIRST boyfriend. His name is Jake and yeah lol. I just thought I’d make a blog to always cherish this moment forever. Me and him were friends for a while now and iuno it just sort of happened. To you guys he’s probably not the most attractive guy ever, but I don't go on looks. I go for personality, and to be honest he has a great one. He's real nice and sweet. And the way he treats girls is absolutely amazing. I hope I get too see him over the Christmas holidays, if not I’ll have to wait until school starts again D: Anyways that’s all I really wanted to say. Today I’m going to one of my cousin’s house for a Christmas party -_-'...should be great u_u....ugh. Anyways Ima go to bed now cause I’m tired, ill tell you what happens later.

xoRAT

Labels: boyfriend, christmas, crush, family, period

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

" I wouldn’t have minded if I looked nice "

I'm back home today and there is so much shit backed up in my asshole that my stomach is hurting and my asshole is craving to be empty. LOLLLL. OMFG okay I need to shit I can't hold this in anymore it is 1:52 right now, let see how long it's going to take me. Okay its 1:57 LOL. Okay seriously now, to my blog HAHA. Okay so I got to stay and extra day at Taline's house because my mother is a lil’ nasty and ruined the plan ;8... Anyways on what Monday night? Taline's sister took me and Taline to Yorkdale, we WERE going to watch a movie, but it didn’t happen ;8. So we just went and chilled at the mall, went to the Apple Store and took amazing pictures lol and I saw the HOOOOTTEESSSTTT 2 guys EVER! god, what are the odds that we pass by them once, then there in the Apple Store, then when we go to Taline's sister at the food court, where her sister was sitting THEY were RIGHT there buying there food >:(... like Jesus... and like I wouldn’t have minded if I looked nice, but I looked like a fat, sweaty fool trying too look hot and they just kept staring at me...they would look at me, look away, then stare, the look away, look, stare, look away and....;8...... -_-' yesterday I looked so ugly LOL. Whatever though, not like I’ll EVER see them again right? So umm after that we really didn’t do much, just went home and I slept over again. I stayed up until like 5 something then slept. My mom came to get me at like 10am but iuno what time it was I was so tired, I think it was around 12 when I woke up. I had such a big head ache. Anyways I just want my period to fucking come already, like on Saturday or some shit I was SURE I had it, but nope, then this morning I thought I had it again, but NNNNOPE ;8;8;... its making me nervous, I just want it to come already LOL >:( whatever. Oh god I just remembered something else. This WHOLE weekend since Friday, I've been eating fucking fast food. ;8.... I gained so much weight :(
Anyways bye bye

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, food, period, taline, yorkdale

Monday, December 22, 2008

" Until....they came.....and i fell....on my ass "

I'm sitting here listening to lil’ Wayne and feeling extremely fat and ugly and disgusting. As usual. Anyways yesterday was pretty fun, i came over to Taline's house and we chilled a little bit, then got ready around 3:30ish to go to Vaughn Mills with the Turkish children. GOD there so fucking annoying LOL. Anyways we walked around all.....day.. LOL....;8. It was pretty fun though; I’m not going to lie ahaha. So after when we had to leave me and Taline were waiting in the front for her mom and the Turkish children, and we were running outside and playing in the snow, running and sliding ahah, it was fun. Until.... they came...and I fell.... on my ass...;8... LOOOLLLL it was so fucking funny though, like the joke is, I slide and then when I was just standing there I fell LMFAO! I swear those whore's gave me and Taline a curse ;8 ahah. So after that we came home and just chilled. I went to bed around 3am or so, I’m not sure. It's 12:30 right now and Taline is still sleeping hehe. Ummm oh haha while I was sleeping, Taline's mom kept waking me up because she was getting jealous that coco loves me more LMFAO! she would always be like "what jubajubajuba, how can you leave meh fo Tamar? huh, yesss you love her moreee??? look at chu shleppen wif herrrr, yeaahhh you so cute, why you make me jealous like this" LMFAOOO it was so cute. Okay remember the whole Ben situation? Well anyways I unlocked my msn today and saw that he left me a message saying how sorry he was, and how he was passed out on the floor or some shit and he’s just so sorry. SO I want onto his MySpace and left him a comment saying "I don't give a flying fuck how sorry you are. Do you have any idea how pissed off they made me? HOW FUCKING MAD I WAS? No you don't. And for some reason, I can't seem to get this off my mind and be like "oh well he was drunk, let it slide" I’m not like that Ben, you'll soon realize this. Before I go off cussing and snap on your wall or comment place, what the fuck ever. I'll wait until you get back on msn to let you know what happened. Maybe you can explain to me why you have such immature, retarded, fucked friends, that don’t know how to stay off other people’s msn. Because you know this isn’t the 1st time it happened, it’s like the hundredth or some shit. Like fuck man, do I honesty have to make you go on cam for 2 seconds to make sure I’m fucking talking to you and not your stupid friends? I don’t know what you did after you found out, but I’m sure it wasn’t much. A whole weekend I’ve been sitting here stressing over this. Congratulations Ben, you just gave me the biggest turn off I’ve ever had. Ugh god I am so pissed off at you." was that too mean? He deserved that right? I mean its not fair… sigh…I don’t know. I’m hoping he will just come online so I can just fucking talk to him and straighten this shit out. Anyways I don’t know exactly what were going to be doing today, but I hope its fun :D I ate so much yesterday, I’m so fat. It’s so hard for me not to gain, its like EVERYTHING I eat goes straight to my fat and just adds on. FUCK I hate my body so fucking much. Whatever, I’ll blog it later. Peace

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, children, crush, life, taline, Vaughn Mills

Sunday, December 21, 2008

" this high class pro camera "

Okay I think I’m going to stick with this layout. So I just woke up because my mom was like snapping telling us to wake up, eat something, and help clean or I’m not going with them. What the fuck ever, calm your fat ass down. Literally. LMFAO! Omg that was so mean. Anyways, we might go to Vaughn Mills instead of Yorkdale, doesn't matter Vaughn mills is still as fun. Except it’s going to be hot as fuck and like old people. OMG my dream was so retarded. Okay I dreamt that I was in school right, my art class and Elysia's ex, Jeremy, was in my class sitting right beside me. Then he was looking for the camera and then all a sudden I wanted the camera, so I go to my teacher and I’m like "Mrs. do you have the camera?" and she’s like "yeah its ummmm right overrrr.......oh right there" I’m like "could i use it?" she’s like "yeaahh sure go ahead" I’m like "tank chu Mrs. /awhe" then she like comes up to me and was like "Tamar" I’m like "yeah?" she’s like "are you busy?" I’m like "umm... yeah kind of I want to take pictures of my painting" she’s like "okay, well when ever you get the chance... just... just go change your shirt, put on a white collar shirt on okay?" I’m like "okay Mrs. ;D" ;8;8;... LOL... SO THEN.... i go to my table and all s sudden there’s a mirror there, and instead of like a normal camera, it changes into like this high class pro camera and I’m looking in the mirror because I want to see how I look, then like... o.o..... when i saw myself in the mirror I didn't look like me! i was my old self o.o... like how I used to look o.o... fat, black ugly cut hair, retardedly parted bangs, FAT, make up is retarded, IM FAT.GOD it was so fucking weird. Anyways I’m going to go downstairs and get more bacon, then do what the fuck ever it is my mother wants me to do so i can just go -_-'

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, dream, food, school, taline, Vaughn Mills

" magnificent Architectural building of sexual healing to the love ones"

So as you can see a new layout. I might change it again. Anyways today was actually pretty cool. I woke up, and came online and Taline's like how she’s coming over ;D.. so after like a half hour or whatever she came and we chilled on the computer for a little bit, then when downstairs to watch a movie/TV and it was kind of boring lol. I made Mr. Noodles though ;D... lol anyways after a while she set up a monopoly game and we played for like 5 minutes haha, I really didn't want to play lol. Then after we forced my mom to give us money so we could buy a gingerbread house :D! And so my moms like "Salpy [my sister], go buy them what the fuck ever it is that they want, then get them McDonalds too" I was like ;D;D;D;D YAYYYY lol. So we went and got a gingerbread house and our McDonalds. Came home, ate then started building our magnificent Architectural building of sexual healing to the love ones. LMFAO! It looks amazing; I’ll have pictures up of it soon. Anyways after that we came upstairs into my room then all a sudden I just became very annoyed and angry and I was snapping at everything...o.o...Taline says it’s because I was "PMS'ing" but I don’t know. AND then on top of that, Ben or his fucking friends pissed me off even more to the point where your so mad tears start to come. Yeah that’s how pissed he made me, he pissed me off so much it got to the point were I just blocked him. I got sick of it. Like I don't even know if it was him or his fucking friends talking. Like UGHHH I’m so pissed off at him, I want to slap him in his face... no scratch that I want to punch him in his face, push him down and kick him in his balls. And his friends, I want to throw off a fucking cliff. Ugh. I’m so mad. I was having such a beautiful day too. Whatever, anyways Taline's sleeping over tonight then tomorrow I’m going to go sleep over her house and probably go to Yorkdale, watch a movie or something. Should be fun.

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, christmas, crush, taline, yorkdale

Friday, December 19, 2008

" I'm too scared to walk into Black Jack's alone "

I'm back. And very pissed off. I got up extra early, to look extra good. I go to school and NONE of my fucking friends were at school. Mainly because the busses were canceled but still. Alisha told me that she’s skipping first and to look for her. I went up and down my school looking for her. Looking for anyone. I’m so pissed. THEN on that note there's a huge snow storm outside, I walked all the way to the plaza to meet Jake, but I'm too scared to walk into Black Jack's alone, so I never went. I just went bought and Arizona [which I left on some table and forgot about it and it was still full, fucking paid 1.15 for that shit] and one slice of pizza ate it and left. Walked around the school some more, chilled with some guy friends, then went and watched one thing in the multicultural show or w/e, then my mom came and took me home and now here i am, pissed off, tired, thirsty, and coldish warm :\...what a piss off. I really wanted to chill with Jake too :(... fuck man.

xoRAT

Labels: friends, life, school

" and guys are just better "

HELLO EVERYONE! GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!!!!... THAT’S RIGHT, last day of school, day of my one year anniversary of my tattoo, the day I chill with Jake at Black Jack's and YEAH!! woooo!! I'm so happy it's finally here :D. I made my sister put an alarm on her phone to make me get up at 6:00am so I could get ready because I wanted to look extra good you know *blush* so yeah :), I took a shower, then after I come and see my sister on the computer checking her marks for school and she got like 90's and 80's and was like rubbing them in my face. I really didn't appreciate it because like, come on I don't get marks like that, and it pisses me off when people that get great marks like that are like "omg I went down from a 96 to a 93 :(".. Like are you fucking kidding me?...iuno it just kind of made me feel bad. Anyways... its 7:29am now and I’m waiting for my mom to make me a sandwich because I haven’t eaten since yesterday at lunch….. o.o.... yeah so I’m hungry.... yet for some reason bloated?... make sense? Anyways so yeah, after I eat my sandwich I’m going to straighten all my hair and yeah go to school :p. So classes are like 20 to 30 minutes long, after all my classes I’m going to go to Black Jack's and chill with Jake. Honestly I want to chill with my friends more, especially the guys, because like I chill with my girl's a lot as it is, and guys are just better... LOL... o.o.....:L......8-3.... LMFAO... ;8.... ANYWAYS. IM HUNGRYYYYYYYYY... Wow my dad just came in and asked me why I’m up so early, plus my mom asked me when she came home, my sister started laughing and was like "LOLL, I love how they ask you why your up so early, cause hahahaha, its ahha so abnormal... hahahha, only on special occasions"... -_-'....w/e I’m not letting anything get me mad today... nofin :)
Okay well I’m going to go finish getting ready, talk to you guys later, peace

Wow you guys I love how I go down to get water for my mom, bring one up for my sister, and she’s like "I wasn't rubbing them in your face" and wtf. I'm like "well it fucking seemed like it to me." saying how I’m a stuck up bitch and I always play the victim. Shut up. And honestly I’m fucking happy she snooped onto my blog and read that. Anyways I g2g cause I think she’s watching me, last thought though I don't think she has ANY right to snoop on MY blog and read MY personal thoughts. Like I write these so I can get my anger and fustration and shit out, and for her to read that PISSES me off. Fucking bitch. Now i have to sign out of blogger so she can't read this. Fucking bullshit.

xoRAT

Labels: christmas, family, friends, life, school

Thursday, December 18, 2008

" it says so on my shoe ((() haha "

Yo lol today was so much fucking fun! yo I’m so happy I went lol. Okay i woke up and was a little last D: but that’s okay, I didn't go to first but w/e. I was looking for Elysia And I couldn’t find her D:… so I went through the café and what not and this chick that seen me before and shit always tells me “ohh ima bring you to church” blah blah blah blah blah, and me in my head I’m always like, “bitch shut the fuck up”. After she calls me over to her and starts preaching about god... I’m like are you fucking kidding me? Now I’m an atheist. Not the atheist that believes in the whole, when I die I become one with this earth, blah blah blah, I’m the type that just doesn’t think Jesus is real, he’s fake, he can fuck him self for all I care, to me, when I die my soul wonders this earth and my body is just dead and honestly I don’t give a flying fuck what you think about me, thinking about that. But in my school….you see…. You can’t really say that... so I lied and was like “oh yeah I believe in him” and w/e but seriously in my head I was like “bitch shut the fuck up, stop preaching to me about someone who’s fake. Not real. The one who only brought pain into my life. Fuck that shit” I know sounds mean, but w/e. You can say what you want, have your own beliefs, and I’ll have mine, As long as you respect my decision on being atheist, then I respect you for being Christian, or Catholic or w/e. Anyways so I did go to second and iuno it was just fun. So me and Alisha left class at like 10:45 and got our stuff and walked to the plaza, I met up with Jake, she was awkward, long story. So yeah, then tell me why the fucking cop comes and stopped Jake, asks him for his id and shit, and i got a little mad, cause like... he wasn’t doing anything. After the cop calls him over to his car and im just standing there waiting, and he’s like "well Jake, I wanted to bring you over so we could talk in private." I’m like ";8".... so I was standing near the cop car, STARING into it all pissed. By then the bell for lunch rang right, obviously, and people were coming and asking me "oh why's Jake in the back of the cruiser, what happen?" I’m like "nothing................;8..................what so........................freaking..............ever. He was standing here talking to me then BAM! "get into the car" I’m like wtf?... yo you guys have no idea how pissed I am" there like "oooh"... Ugh it was so stupid. Anyways after a while he let him out and Jake came back to me, and told me what happened, I won’t tell you guys because I’m too lazy. Anyways so after that I went into Black Jack's, it’s a bar. So I went in there with Jake and we chilled in the back and played pool, listened to the boom box thing, it was sick! I actually got a lot better in my pool playing skills :p... umm yeah... I still sucked, but I’m going there again tomorrow and I should get a bit better right? Anyways playing pool caused me to skip my 3rd period but i really don’t care haha. So yeah now I’m an officially member of the "BlackJack'sCrew" LOL... it says so on my shoe ((() haha.. god today was fun. I think Jake was flirting with me... o>o... but....iuno....o>o.... was he? OH LOL, i left at like 1:50, so i was a little late, and we were walking and jakes like "I bet you any money my mom's is going to ask if your my girlfriend" I’m like "LMFAO! What? Why?" he's like "cause she was watching you" I’m like "what o>o.....why......huh awb" LOL.. Then he’s like "yeah ahahah, I bet you ANY money she’s going to ask, and you know what ima say?" I’m like "what?" he’s like "I’m going to say yes you are my girlfriend" I’m like "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL ;8" haha...Don't ask about the mom thing.. she works at the bar?... i don't fucking know anyways.... o>o.... so yeah that’s what happen today. Fun, fun day, I can't wait until tomorrow cause we have this thing going on and like classes are 20 minutes each or like a half hour each or some shit and after all my classes I’m going back to Jack Blacks...or no black jacks.. LMFAOOO... My bad... Anyways so yeah :D. Fun day, I can't wait until tomorrow. It’s also the one year anniversary of my tattoo!! and the day i get off for Christmas break! HEHEHE WHOOI!KL21HKJDJFLWE FI CANT WAIT!! HDJHEWH HAHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE ;9;9;9;... ANYWAYS okay bye LOL...

xoRAT

Labels: christmas, friends, school, skip

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

" Like Christmas was the best when I was younger "

Hey everyone, I was downstairs watching TV right, and the Polar Express came on right, and I was watching it and there's this one part in the movie where this girl and little boy sing this song, and it just made me think. It made me think about when I was younger and how Christmas used to be. All my family together, opening up a bunch of presents, everyone was happy and full of joy and love. I honestly really miss that. I miss the days where my family didn't hate me for being me, the times where we all got along, where i would get like 20 presents in one night, everyone was happy with everyone around. Putting up the Christmas tree was more then just putting up the Christmas tree, I actually enjoyed it, I would bother my mom a month before asking her if we could put it up, I’d ask her all the time, putting the ornaments on, it was so much fun... what happened? Honestly... Like Christmas was the best when I was younger. I really miss it. I think about it and I just sit and wonder. I mean my mom asked me to put the ornaments on the Christmas tree and I felt so bothered, I didn’t want to do it... I got mad that she asked me.... I was like "UGH wtf why can't you just do it >:( ".... o.o...It surprises me, it really does. I remember when we would be at our cousin's house and i would be so excited when we were allowed to open up the presents... when one of my cousin's dressed up like Santa and I would believe it was him! I would sit on his lap and just be so happy Santa came to our house that night, him handing us the presents. Now when that happens i just want it to hurry up and be over with. Looking at my younger cousins going to "Santa" I’d watch and be like "omfg wow they seriously believe it’s him?" O.O.....I don't understand what happened... maybe it’s just me and my family, but damn. OH! And like remember those days when the snow would fall for the first time? and your mom or dad or w/e would wake you up call you down and be like "There's snow outside!".. I remember that, I would get up so fast, run down and look outside, then get ready and go to school... And at school we couldn’t wait until recess to play with the snow... snow ball fights, forts, ice queen things LOL... ugh...Then you would get home and drink hot chocolate and like dress up and play outside some more. I remember that, I would always do it with my sister haha... awww :(... We would build a snow man, and my brother would always threaten to kill him, and I would get so fucking mad that I would cry LOOL. OHHH then I would sit and watch the Christmas show... AWW omfg I LOVE the Christmas shows, there seriously the best. Ugh the good old days. My wish for Christmas is to have it like it was before.
Iuno those are just my thoughts about it.

xoRAT

Labels: children, christmas, family, life

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

" I don't approve of such exposure "

Are you down with the sickness!.....yes awb... LOL. Okay well I’m feeling a lot better you guys. My nose is still stuffed and my ears are still plugged, ANNNDD my throat still hurts but I’m a lot better. I think tomorrow I’m going to go to school. I kind of miss it a bit LOL. Anyways I’ve been home since Monday. But whatever. I have 3 more days until my Christmas break starts :D and I can't wait, not only that it’s the ONE YEAR ANIVERSARY OF MY TATTOO!! WOOOOOOO!! :D... I'd show you a picture but that requires me to show my stomach and I don't approve of such exposure to such body of mine. LMAO! Anyhoos. Iuno what to really talk about. OHH!! Jake is going to get me size 00 gauges for Christmas!! :D:D:D:D:d,dfmnkjdfhkrew.. I’m so happy :D And he’s going to learn Emily - from first to last and teach me how to play it :D eeekk I can't wait. Ermmm speaking of gauges, my ears are doing okay i guess. I keep getting to lazy to do the salt water soaks >:(! But I need to stop and actually do them. The crusyness is going down a bit. OH OMFG!! OKAY I SERIOUSLY NEED TO STOP BEING SO STUPID AND TAKE CARE OF MY GAUGES BETTER! Omfg... ugh... I lost..... the ring-o thing for my 0's... 3 OF THEM.....THREEEE OFFF THEEEMMMMMM ;8;8;8;....iuno what I’m going to do. I need to buy a new size 2 for Taline. PLUS 3 new ring -o things... and I have no money :s..... ima be making my resume soon and apply for a bunch of places. Oh we were in woodbine yesterday and I saw the HOTTEST guy in Blue Notes LOL! I really want to work there now! HAHAHA... HES SO HOT! o>o... LMFAO...anyways.... ;8... Umm yeah that’s about it for now. Nothing interesting, I know. Anyways byebye

xoRAT

Labels: christmas, gauges, school, sick, work

Sunday, December 14, 2008

" it got hot so i took off my jacket "

Hey everyone, im going to make this a small blog. I just wanted to give a small update before i go back into my very comfortable bed. Well Friday was absolutely amazing lol. Saturday.... not so much lol. Well it was still fun and all but it just sucked because i was so sore. That's the thing about E, the next day your in so much pain. Its probably mostly because you have so much energy, so you just keep moving, and your dancing and like, it's....ugh i love it! LOL. Another reason why your back probably hurts a lot 'cause with E it drains your spinal fluid. W/E! whole point is, i had a lot of fun, the soreness sucks but ill deal with it. Now second thing. Im sick >:(.... why?.... BECAUSE WE WERE OUTSIDE FOR LIKE A GOOD 3 HOURS!... not only that cause i was all hyped and full of energy, it got hot so i took off my jacket and i was like running around at the parks and shit. So yeah that's probably how i got sick... don't you think? LOL that rhymed. Anyways that's all for now. I'll probably make another blog when I'm better. peace.

xoRAT

Labels: drugs, sick

Saturday, December 13, 2008

" that was my experience with E "

The song below this is the best song to listen to you know why o)....cause its my favorite song. LOL ;)
Anyways Alisha is sitting right beside me reading this o) LOL. Okay if you follow my blogs you will remember that yesterday [Friday, December, 12th, 2008] Me, Alisha, and Jolanta were going to do E. aka ecstasy for you dumb fucks out there (y) LOL. But if you don't really follow my blogs, you'll notice the posts with the tag "E" were deleted. Long story. Anyways we ended up doing it: D!! God it was honestly the BEST THING IN THE WORLD!! I seriously have no idea why I was so scared to do it o.o. It was honestly NOTHING! Okay ill tell you EXACTLY what happened: D. Okay so after school me and Alisha walked down to west wood, and went to like bulk barn and got candy, so we could play it off like "oh the candy made us so hyper" so we did that, then we went to buck or two and got soothers cause are jaw is going to clench and your teeth were going to grind together and shit right. So we were looking, and tell me why we found one with 3 in there LMFAO! It was like meant to be! ; D... then Jean magically remembered "get glow sticks!" the way me and Alisha looked at each other when he said that was amazing LOOLLLLL. So we got purple, pink and orange right. So yeah after we walked down to my house and chilled. At like 5:50 we went to Jolanta's house, from there we went on the stairs of her apartment and took the pills! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SCARED I WAS!!! Like my knees were shaking and like I was so nervous loll. There's no turning back now [LOLLL]. So after we walked down to the mall and we saw Alisha's aunt LOL... after that we walked down to Ridge Wood park and we walked by a church and Alisha was like praying to god LMFAO! So yeah we chilled there for a bit, we were like singing out loud loll dancing and being amazing. So yeah, we tried to take a couple pictures right? We got like one or two...then.....BAM! Jolanta's camera froze ;8....FUCK! >:(..I got so mad LOL...GOD it was so fucking cold LOL... anyways then tell me why these magical people MAGICALLY came and was like watching us from their van ;8... So we TRYED to scaddadled away but then BAM! All these other people were walking our way... we were traped :'( LOL. After that we went back to west wood to warm up... that's when i started to feel it a bit. What happen it was like...the colours around me were more vibrant and they stood out SO much more... but it was pretty I couldn't stop smiling loll. Then after were like okay let’s go to the park by my house, and I’m like okay: D... So we took the long way to the park right.... tell me whyyyyyyy it only took us 30 minutes and usually it would of taken us like and hour and a half to get there!!!... That’s what E does to you man LOL... like we walked so damn fast... it was rediculous. Okay so now finally the highlight of the night LOL. So we got to the park and were playing on the ice and were like "OMG A SLID ;D!!" so we made a train on the slide, jolanta in front, me then Alisha... we slid down....okay actually I can't really say we slid down when it was like *slides sllooooowwwlllyyyy. Stops. Slides an inch more. Stops*; 8... Loll... so we unhooked and went on. So me being as retarded as I am i’m like "OMG! YOU GUYES! WATCH ME! IM GOING TO GO DOWN BACKWARDS!"....Kay CLEARLY that never happened LOOLLLL. I started off backwards... some how turned around then got to the bottom of the slide then FELL ON MY ASS!! LMFAO!!! omfg it was so funny, Alisha was DYYYYING. Jolanata LITTERALLYYY pissed her pants. Literally! LMFAO! God I’ve never laughed so hard in my life, like honestly. So like after LMFAOOO... jolanta was like "OMFG I THINK I PISSED MY PANTS!" "omg I peed my pants! I need to go pop a squat [iuno loll]" and me and Alisha started DYING. So tell me why she runs to the trees... hold on sorry me and Alisha are talking about what she did and were dying LMFSOOOO omfg... OKAY! SO! She ran to the trees and was there for like a little bit right, then tell me why me and Alisha turn around and see her running like a big foot to the other side of the park to the other tree's... THEN after like a minute or too, she runs back... to us... for like 3 seconds... then turns around and runs back to the first tree, she looked so lost. Like the way she was running, she literally looked like a big foot! ROTLMFAOO!!! OMFG IM CRYING! LOLLLL god that was so fucking funny. GAWD! So yeah after we went to the corner store to warm up, we were in the pizza store right and we were just talking... then alisha had this small moment where she was about to cry cause she was talking about personal things right, And with E you just like let all your secrets out right like if your thinking about somethng in your head you just let it out o.o... Freaky... so yeah i almost started to cry because she was. So yeah this was now around 8:48 when we left to go to my house. Kay wow this post is really long LOL. Anyways we went to the basement and like blasted music and we were dancing like CRAZY! In the dark! WITH OUR GLOW STICKS! WOOO!!! Loll... I’ve never had so much energy in like forever. I was so comfertable with them it was amazing. We talked about so much and got so much closer. Then my stupid brother came and was tripping us out ;8... Ugh iuno all I know is that yesterday was the best night of my life, and this day will FOREVER be in my mind. FOREVEAAAA o). I’m so happy I did it. I would say more but this blog is actually really long so yeah. Btw we hurt like a bitch. Like I am so sore and in so much pain it’s ridiculous ;8... And tell me why I just can not keep my back not straight? LOL honestly though...I still feel high off it haha. Anyways that was my experience with E, and I recommend you do it and I SHALL be doing it again :D.

Quotes/sayings of the night [in a random order]
"No turning back now"
"When the fuck is it going to kick in!!"
"Holy shit! Do you see those lights! ahhhh!!"
"god is with us"
"omfg I can't believe I just said that in front of a church LMFAO"
"you're so pretty/gorgeous/hot/sexy"
"omfg I love this song!!"
"dood I love you"
"marry Christmas ma'am" LOLLL
"no! don't say marry Christmas say happy Halloween"
"don't do drugs kids!"
"OMFG I THINK I JUST PEED MYSELF!"
"posed laughing"
"omg i’m so hyper right now!"
"omg can i sing for you guys? you guys can i sing for you?"
"guys guys! look at my hands! look at my hands"
"are my eyes dilated?"
"chew on your soother!"
"drink water!!!"
"omg your boobs are so nice though"
"kay my boobs are falling out my shirt"
"kay that was so porn star"
"she looks like a big foot LMFAOO"
"kay you were never a texas spitter man person"
"Tamar, Tamar, can you get us more oranges?" x8490835973985793
"I have to pee again you guys"
"guys I farted"
" you killed the Jews!"
"Hitler’s secret weapon"
"you’re like a fucking gas chamber"
"your farts are so cute!"
"OMG!"
"kay that was never...."
"but...but, no but pale is the new tan"
"Jesus we are in your hands"
"omg can we take more pictures?"
"don't eat you guys, you'll throw up!"
"you guys i want chocolate"
"guys, guys can we dance more, you guys"
"ohhhh my back/legs/mouth is hurting"
"aaaah my mouth is clenching, chew on the soother!"

there was probably more, but we can't really remember. Anyways it was one of the best nights ever, funnier then fuck, and I had a great time.
I LOVE YOU ALISHA AND JOLANTA SO MUCH! :D

oh btw robert and his friend say hi.

xoRAT

Labels: drugs, friends, life

Friday, December 12, 2008

" I like to live in my own world. "

Freaks on E, that's what we fuck man!

Ey yo, 1-2 , 1-2 - Yo, hehe!

This is what I love, and can't stop lovin'.
Get wasted at partys, from 9 till 7 in the morning.
I live for the music, rollin' blunts, feelin' high, gettin' loaded
- or take some pills and go to La La Land.
Spendin' all my money on dope and extreme high price tickets.
But in the end, it's all worth it.
I like to live in my own world. Fuck regular life! Fuck the '9-to-5' job!
I'm totally enjoyin' every moment, every hour, every minute.
That's what I do at Fridays and Saturdays. Why should I take life so seriously?
I just want to do, what I like to do! Be far from reality, 'cause I can't stand society!
It's my own world, I just want to hear the music.

I think the whole system fucking sucks.
everybody's working their fucking ass up during the week,
getting totally fucking stressed out - So what's wrong, and what's right?
I live for the weekend, I live for hard styles, I live for hardstyle baby!

Labels: life

Thursday, December 11, 2008

"nahh i can't tackle her, its too weird, i dont want to hurt her"

yo yo ho. lol. Okay today was AMAZING! lol i thought it was going to suck, but it didnt! i came in kind of early, and i saw jake, so i chilled with him for a bit, then he left and what not. Anyways i was in the caf at luch cause jean wanted to get food, then some guy, iuno how to spell his name but hes one of my friends, anyways he came and hes like "YO TAMAR, play football with us" so im like "...:\..hmm... OKAY:D" so i played with them and i did so good!! LOL. I tackled the guys, and i got 2 touchdowns :D and the only reason why i didnt get hurt is cause the guys were like "nahh i can't tackle her, its too weird, i dont want to hurt her" LMFAO!! and like everytime i was going to tackel them, they would slow down LOL, then one of my friends like "yo tanar dont you want to get tackled?" im like "yes;8" LOL. GOD it was fun. Then after i went to 3rd, but skipped 4th. and yeah that was my day. So much fun lol... i love how i was the only girl to ever play football with them LOL:D

Labels: school

"TOOK ME HOW LONG TO WRITE THEM?"

Its 7:36am and before i go to school i just wanted to say that im so pissed off because yesturday someone was reading my blogs and because this is a certin person that shouldnt be reading my blog, i had to delete 4 AMAZING BLOGS THAT TOOK ME HOW LONG TO WRITE THEM? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I HAD ALL THAT SHIT WRTIEN ABOUT SEMI, WHAT HAPPEN TO ME YESTURDAY AND ALL THAT SHIT. IM SO FUCKING MAD. PLUS ON TOP OF THAT THE BLOG BELOW THIS ONE, IM STILL ALL DEPRESSED ABOUT. ugh. today is not going to be a good day i know it. Jake's coming though.. so he should make it better? w/e :(

xoRAT

Labels: blogs, family, life

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

" i always find something new"

is it normal to have this much hate for yourself? the amount of hate i have for myself kind of scares me at times. I always find something new about me that i hate. Always. At times i seriously can't stand it. I'm happy at one moment, then the next I'm all depressed because i find something wrong. Is this normal? am i crazy? contemplating on myself everyday is starting to get my annoyed. I'm sick of growing up, everything just gets more confusing and i question everything i do. I'm worried about so much and have so much on me.. is it normal to be this way? i don't understand it. People say I'm so pretty, and gorgeous, and hot,sexy,cute, adorable and all that other shit, but i can't see it. It's so hard for me to see it. Once in a blue moon I'll actually be like "wow i do look nice today" "i actually fee beautiful today" no, i can't i can never say it. I feel disgusting all the time and i can't take it. Sometimes i sit and think about my suicide attempts and wished they worked. Wish i just died. left this earth. I've tried so many times, and it ever worked. Honestly it enrages me to know i could of died but didn't. it seriously pisses me off. I don't know why...why do i feel nasty all the time? why am i like this, i can't stand it. I cant take it anymore I always have these urges to just get up and cut. But i hold back. I fight it and i dont... its so hard..it gets so hard sometimes. but i can't kill myself now. Why? because of one person. I can't leave her. But why..why do i always look upon the bad in my life, in my home, in my world? i know other people have it harder and all. But what can i say, were a selfish race of people, i can honestly say, i don't care about what other people are going through though, and mean it. and by that i mean family problems, not starving kids and shit, i care for that. If someone has an abusive family, and i don't know them, i don't care. because its. not. me. I know it's rude but seriously think about it. Do you HONESTLY care for the people being abused right now, or do you just think of yourself, and your own problems?.... exactly. You know its true. Whatever. I don't know. I think I'm bi-polar. Like i honestly do. Theres definitely something wrong with me. And i do deserve to be in a mental institution.
my thoughts and feelings for the night.

xoRAT

Labels: cuts, life

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

"it burnt my asshole so unpleasurably"

Oh my fucking god. Okay i ate Taco Bell for dinner right? so i got a crunch wrap supreme thingy and a coke to drink... so anyways i ate it then like an hour later i needed to shit, and when i shit, my asshole was BURNING like i just ate a bunch of spicy shit, now the last time i checked my crunch wrap was mild ;8....why is my asshole burning?? THE TELL ME WHY at around like 7:50ish or so i was getting ready to go take a shower, and i had to shit again! so i went poo!! then! while i was in my shower, my stomach was hurting a bit, then i got out, got dressed and shit and my stomach started to hurt a hell of alot more...tell me why i just went shit again and it burnt my asshole so unpleasurably. Like fucking Mexican food, iuno how Matthew Ryan deals with this shit LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LOL. Kay well yeah i just thought id inform you about my asshole problem. I'm going to go to bed now, so good day.

xoRAT

Labels: life

Monday, December 8, 2008

"why do you have to be like that?"

LMFAO jesus i almost forgot to make a blog LOl o.o..
Kay well anyways from now on im going to make my blog tittle a saying in my blogs. As you can see above ^ that sentance will be in my blog soon or later. Anyways, today i came in late...as usual... and i wasnt in uniform [like i ever am] and yeah i got a dress pass for my pants, then at like 2nd period i changed my uniform sweater to a normal one and i didnt even look like an asc***** studen LOL [ i would write my school, but who knows what kind of pedofiles are reading this right now] ANYWAYS. so yeah. them my fucking vp said how everyday i have to come in and go to her to get a slip or i cant get into clas...;8...and tell me why, i go into 3rd, and my teachers like "so tamar do you have something for me?" and i just roll my eyes, get up and give her the slip and shes like " haha yeah so you have to give me a slip everyday or else you cant get to class" and im like "and your point?" GOD THE FACE THAT SHE MADE WHEN I SAID THAT WAS SO PRICELESS LMFAOO!!! she just looked at me, shook her head and was like "why..why do you have to be like that?" and im like "be like what? your telling me something i already know, and something i dont care for. what else am i going to say to you? thanks for reminding me? no ima say and your point cause i dont give a shit" then i grabed the notes from her hand, turned around and sat in my seat :) i love being a bitch to her. OHH!! AT LUNCH OMFG IT WAS THE FUNNYEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE!! LOOOOL. Okay remeber that " jenelle" girl.. well yeah apperintaally she was hyping all day how she was going to "crump" with all the nazi's up on the 3rd floor LMFAOO so im like "omfg i have to see this LMFAOO" so we go up and she actually did it! OMFG I WAS DYING. Kay she looked....like she was having an orgasm...like she looked like a worm that was having a orgasm and was enjoying it ever so deeply in her vagina LMFAO... omfg i wish they recorded it. I honestly pointed at her and laughed my ass off, like i was kneeling on the floor CRYING, thats how funny it was, i swear to god! LOOL GAWD! ermm what else.. OH so then i walked home and my feet were frezzing, came home went on the computer and yeah that was my day :\...nothing really exciting LOL. OH GOD MY EARSS ARE PISSING ME OFF!! iuneven know if there infected or what! cause like they hurt and like there do crusy, im so lazy to do the salt water soaks, which i should cause i bet if i did they would heal up a hell of a lot faster...ugh....i guess ill do them tomorrow for sure. Anyways this is a pretty long one, so before my dad comes in here and snaps on me, ill blog tomorrow.
byebye

xoRAT

Labels: gauges, school

Sunday, December 7, 2008

my thoughts you cant decode

So today was quite hilarious. I love going out with taline lol, its always amazing LOL. We went to yorkdale al right, but sadly we never got to watch twilight cause we had no money ;8... sucks cause i really want to watch it LOL. God i want all twilight the books for Christmas haha. I seriously want to read more :\... anyways we just chilled at the mall, walked around, went to the apple store like 849393 times lmfao, took a bunch of pictures and turned on Tamaravitch videos then scaddadled away LOL. umm i had alot of fun this weekend, not going to lie. Then next weekend Alisha and Jolanta are coming over and were going to do some e and get fucked up LOL o>o :S ... ANWYAYS O>O..... lol o>o.................... OH while we were walking around we kept making fun of people, we made up a new word " twiddlers" LMFAOOO GOD thats so god damn inside HAHAH.. anyways peace

xoRAT

Labels: christmas, taline, yorkdale

" omg look i gave the dog a bath "

well yesturday was quiet amazing LOL. i havn't laughed that hard in so damn long LMFAO. well anyways that memorie shall be cherished in my soul for all times and eternitys LOOOOL. Kay well so yeah, i went to bed at like 3:30am ;8... and woke up.....................at 7................cause talines mom.....................woke me up.........JUST TO SAY........"cover your self up its cold".........yet........i was DYING.........in heat......;8.... LOL. So i went covered myself up and shit, then shes like "okay, okay go back to bed" im like ";8...okay..." so i try to sleep....BUT TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYY.....;8;8;8.....she kept fucking talking to me LMFAOOO... and like asking me questions... in my head i was like "kay i love you and all...but shut the fuck up im tired ;8" LOL...anyways she eventually stoped and i went back to sleep to rest untill like 12 and be happy :).....or so i thought..... AFTER LIKE AND HOUR HER MOM COMES BACK AND LIKE THROWS THE DOG ON MY FACE, AND WAS ALL EXCITED, SHES LIKE "omg look i gave the dog a bath, see, shes all clean now"..........i swear to god i started to twitch LOL. well anyways i went back to sleep then LOl and woke up at 9 something, its 10:16 now hehe.. well yeah thats how my day is starting off. Hopefully we will be able to go to yorkdale and watch twilight (yn). Anyways thats all for now, peace

xoRAT

Labels: movies, taline, yorkdale

Saturday, December 6, 2008

coco like to poop

Dear life?
IUNEVEN KNOW IM GETTING MAD CAUSE IUNO HOW TO START MY BLOGS ;;8;8;8
kay anyways.... o>o.... i woke up at like 1ish then at like 2,2:30 i came to talines house too sleep over :D... i havent seen her in so friggen long! god this whole day was fucking amazing lol. We finally talk to matthew ryan, and he actually answered us back LOOOOL, and tell me why apperintally keke is dead, OH NO WAIT no no shes not she's just in a coma.. oh wait nooo...no shes not she got into a car werak yet some how maniges to be on the computer EVREYDAY lmfao yeah right. God i hate her so much LMFAO shes like so fucking stupid. god. anyways hopefully tomorrow we get to go to yorkdale and watch twilight and be amazing and annoy everyone watching it LOL. Kay well yeah thats all. peace.

xoRAT

Labels: movies, taline, yorkdale

Friday, December 5, 2008

thoughts

dear life,
im looking at my arm right now and im touching my cuts. I mean i dont regret doing them at all.. its just i sit and think sometimes... why i did them... the pain that i had forced me and caused me to do this to myself. iuno. i dont like remebering the past all that much. iuno its just yeah. i wonder if they'll ever go away :\.. like not as noticeable you know? i have ALOOOOTT :\..well yeah those are my thoughts for today.

oh and btw im going to go sleep over talines house tomorrow :D almost a whole weekend together... god i havnt seen her in so long, its going to be so SEX lfmaooo god the memories HAHAHAH ;)

Labels: cuts, taline

howdy

im seriously starting to not know how to start my blogs off ;8... im stealing talines idea :D... HA TOO BAD BITCH... anyways... i didnt go to school today cause my cousin was here yesturday right? and everyone was up till like 2am and my dad had to go to work at like 5am, so he couldnt wake me up cause he was gone, and my mom was so tired that she just slept and didnt wake up LOL, so yeah i got to stay home :p...LMFAOOO i just realised taline didnt have school today and like shes at home, and i now im at home LOOL o>o...creepy........anyways ill find a magical way to see her today or tomorrow, and then when xmass break starts ill come over all the time o)......and touch coco................and lick chicko...............yeah.....yummmmmm.........chicko........o) LOOL o>o. Kay well when something amazing happends ill tell you. NOW GO OFF AND SCADDADLE o)

Labels: christmas, school, taline

Thursday, December 4, 2008

taline

wanted me to make a new blog so i did. And now i bet shes twitching cause im making her so nervous and its quit entertainign to me, but then again her being nervous makes me nervous and im twitchign ;8

Labels: taline

my nose :\

i want to get it pierced... hmm... i think it would look good, i brough in a fake nose ring today lol, and i put it on and i asked my friends what they thought, and there like it looks really good you should get it, and im like .... hmm... yeah maybe... so yeah im going to go get my nose pierced soon :D then when im 17, ill get my septum done (((), and take out the nose ring, then when im 18 ima get my snake bites (((). :D:D:D: i cant wait untill im older :D.. hmm well today was pretty good, i actually did my work in 3rd LOOOL, then at 4th i did some more work :D, considering the fact that i stayed up till like 3:30am i was pretty awake today o>o i really want to sleep right now, but ima fight it cause then i wont be able to sleep at night, so ima wait till 9 then go to bed :\ omg tell me how i was walking and some dumb ass nazi's [ taline you know what im talking about LOL] came and like shoved me and i fell ;8;8;8; infront of like 3487937593 people, but i love the fact they they didnt laught but they snapped at the nazi LOOL.. im like so popular at school, omg *does a girly voice and laugh* LOLLLL o>o.. no seriously though, alot of people know me in my school and half of them i dont know.. some kid will come up to me and be like "hai 8-3" ill be like "o>o.....wtf" LOL anywaysssss iuno bye

xoRAT

Labels: school

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

kay my sister

seriously needs to calm the fuck down. I dont know wtf is wrong with her but shes really pissing me the fuck off. Like shes all pissed, and i dont know why, usually she'll tell me but shes not, and shes like snapping on EVERYTHING for no fucking reason, sound like shes on her period? no she already had it AND hers is going to come like in the middle of the month, plus i know how she is when shes on it. Anyways shes just being a fucking bitch and needs to calm the fuck down. Like honestly no one is asking you to snap on me just cause i say one small thing. she buys burgur king or w/e and im stuck eating this nasty food my mom made LOL, i go down and see her eating it and im like "oh yeah thanks for getting me some too" and like ive always said that when she gets something for herself and ALL the time she'll laugh and joke, this time shes like "I DONT FUCKING CARE" and like ugh iuno shes just snapping for no reaosn and its pissing me of >:(

WOOOOOOOOOOOW SHE JUST FARTED AND STARTED LAUGHING THEN LOOKS AT ME AND IS NICE ;8;;8;8

Labels: family

semi formal

is on the 12th, on a friday.
And i had in my msn name "shit son, semi formal is on the 12th.....who wants to take me? LMFAO" then my best guy friend, jean [ jhon] was like "ill take you" "as friends though" im like "hmm... alright but i dont have enough money to pay" [it costs 40 buxs to go ;8;8] and hes like "kay ill pay 20 and you pay 20, and we'll go together", im like "okay 8-3" then hes all "ben should be there" and im like "i know :'(" LOL... anyways so i guess im going to go to semi formal ;D... but i have to be EXTRA good to my parents so they dont say im not allowed... god if my mom says im not allowed to go to semi ima be so pissed off, like you dont understand, thats rediculous, you never let me out anywhere, and the one thing, SCHOOLILY DONE MIGHT I ADD, and your not letting me go? fucking shit..... wait o>o... why am i complaining?....i didnt even...........wanna go..........from the...............begining LMFSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. WELL NOW I WANT TO CAUSE I HAVE SOMEONE TO BE WITH!! ;8;8;8;8; LOL well yeah thats the new news. ill make a blog all about it... heyy hopefully ill get drunk :p ;)

xoRAT

Labels: school

im tired and this one might be long >.>

Yo yo yooooo o)lol kay sooo i cussed off my period 2 and 3 teacher today LOL. like im sorry but there so fucking stupid, they piss me off so fucking much its unbelieveavlejfkhlg like seirously, ive never met anyone so stupid in my life, this is my 2nd period teacher im talking about, like you dont understand shes so stupid. She kept calling me in that annoying fucking voice that she has, and like every time she would call me id be like "WHAT?! ;8" and she'd look at me and be like "okay o)" LIKE OMFG seriously. so like the last timme she did it i was like "What?" shes like "okay yeah dont say that" and im like " MIS! OMFGGGGGG ATOP FUCKING CALLING MY DAMN NAME IF YOU HAVE NO FRIGGEN REASON TOO! im sitting here doing my nails [its cosmo class] aand you keep fucking calling me and saying \"okay" like shit mis, do you have any idea how fucking annoying your voice is? like honestly its worse then my moms in the morning, like fuck, when you talk to me, dont sing okay? go take sining classes and dont come back kay?" then she said some shit but i wasnt listening. Then with my 3rd period, shes like "okay tamar you going to do some work?" im like "no" and shes like "why not?" im like "kay mis you clearly know i wasnt here yesturday and your asking me to write an essay about the movie i never got to watch, yeah thats so smart" and shes like "well you have someone beside you who did watch the movie, she can explain what happen" im like "no, i cant learn like that, shes oging to fuck up the story and i wont understand" and shes all "HEY! -@- WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE" i look at her and im like "no fuck that" then shes all oh "why do you have to be like that?" and im like "be like what? me, ermmm i dont know maybe cause thats who i am? wtf do you want me to tell you" and shes like how "well i dont know if you will watch the movie" and i cut her off and im like "mis we all know, your sayying im not going to do the work, stop trying to cover it up by being nice" then iuno we fought a little more and shit, then after she came to me and was like "so tamar hows your other classes going?" i look at her and im like "MIS, YOU ARE NOT A SOCIAL WORKER OKAY? LIKE STOP TRYING TO GET TO KNOW ME AND ACT LIKE YOUR A SYKYATRIS [how ever the fuck you spell it LOL]AND DO YOUR DAMN JOB OF BEING A FUCKING RELIGION TEACHER, SHIT;8;;8;8" LOLOOL anyways yeah, then i went to 4th and it was FUNNAHHHH again as usual, then after i walked home with jean, andddddddd now im here 8) kay bye :D

xoRAT

Labels: school

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

my sister

just farted and snezzed at the same time
just thought
you'd like
to
know

Labels: family

tonight..

was fucking AMAZING! LMFAO, im so glad i came on the computer LOOOOL, like my last blog was amzing and like just this whole night was fantastic. Im so flabergasted by the things being said LOL. anyways im off to bed now, got school tomorrow, and my mom just came in from work o) LOL... OMG i showed salpy the moonlotrjhg shoes and she SNAAAAAAAAAAPED kay we snaped LOOOL she was so close to buying them lOL but we have to make and account, and were too lazy too. Yo if she gets me them, im NEVER taking thme off like you dont understand how amazing thats going to be like i want them so fucking bad!!! ugh! lol ill find a way to get money, i want to get them before christmass break starts! wich is on the 19th for me. Like ima skip all day that day LOL.. and like dress down even if it isint dress down day LOOL :D.. anyways ill blog it up tomorrow, peace

xoRAT

Labels: christmas

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay well i shaved my vagina today. but like i didnt get ALL the hair right, so i just went to the bathroom and went onto the counter and started to shave the rest of my vagina. Cause like, i shave it cause i dont like the hair. anyways so then my dad was trying to get in, and was shaking the door noob and was like "are you almost done?" my face was like O_O. LMFAO like just think about it, your dad walkingin on you while your shaving your vagina LMFAOOOOO so i went and scaddadled to taline and told her my tale.. it went a little somehting like this :
this might be long, but its funny :) btw, im "rat" obviously, and taline is "guppy" OBVIOUSLY
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
OMFG TALINE
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
I WAS ON THE COUNTER SHAVING MY VAGINA
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
AND LIKE
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
MY LEGS WERE OPEND AND SHIT
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
THEN ALL A SUDDEN I HEAR SOMEONE
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
TRYING TO GET IT
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
IN*
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
AND DADS LIKW
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
" ARE YOU GOING TO BE LONE?!?!?!"
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
IM LIKE
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
:|:|:|:|:|:|
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
I WAS SO SCARED
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
WTF IF HE CAME IN
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
AND SAW THAT
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
I WOULD OF CRRRRRRRRYED
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
MY EYES OUT
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
AND KILLED MYSELF
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
the door was locked right?
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
yes!
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
but like
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
if it wasnt
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
im still thinking about it
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
what if i forgot to lock it
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
and he came in and saw me doing that
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
;8
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOLOOLL
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
but like
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
im not done ;8
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
i wall ALL the hair off
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
and its not off
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
lord only knows
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
what porn stars do
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
to get all that hair off
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
;8
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
why the hell
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
were you shaving
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
your vagina
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
on the counter?
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LOL
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
cause i had no where else to do it o>o
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
the bath tub
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
you nasty
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
no i already took a shower
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
is your pm about me
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
:L
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
ya
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
and tam
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
that doesnt mean
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
you dont
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
shave your vagina
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
in the
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
tub
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOL
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAO
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
its mor4e clean
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
noone wants their pubes
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
on their toothbrushes
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
IM LOLING SO LOUD
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAOOO
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
I DONT MIND
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
PUTTING MY PUBED IN SEBDS TOOTHBRUDH
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAOOO
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
OMG
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
I DARE YOU
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
GET IT ALL IN BETWEEN
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
THE
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
BIRISSLES
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
OMFG OKAY
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
ILL FIND THE LOGEST HAIR I CAN
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
FROMY MY VAGINA
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
and put it
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
in
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
the
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
toilet
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
and
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
pee
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
omg
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAO
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
thats so funny
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
BRB
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
ima do it
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
OMGG
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
TAKE A VISEO
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LMFAO
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
i copied
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
and pasted
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
the whole
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
vagina thing
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
to kayla
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
the whole your dads
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
thing
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
and she was like
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LMFAOOOPP
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
IM PUTTING THAT WHOLE CONVO
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
IN MY BLOG
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ sends:

Open(Alt+P)
rat. your all mine - wtf has come of this world says:
LOOOOOOL
guppy٩͡๏̯͡๏)۶ sa*s:*LMFAOO

Labels: vagina

this is late

hehehehehe o).. okay well yesturday was fucking HULARIOUSSSSSSS at last period we played like hacky sack with paper LOL and it was fucking JOKES, yesturday was absoultly AMAZEN! lol. Then after school Alisha came over and it was even more funnyer LOL god yesturday was so /yummmmmm/ LOL. okay well today i came home early cause i felt sick but yeah thats about it. So yeah i might not have a new blog soon cause my dad said how im not allowed to have the computer for 3 days or w/e *rolls eyes* fuckng gay. But yeah thats about it. peaceee

xoRAT

Labels: school

Monday, December 1, 2008

5:18am

i just woke up and its 5:18am. i have school today D:! w/e. umm so yeah i left my gauges out for the whole night :O! and everything is okay with them i guess :\...i mean it is harder to put in, but ima slowly push it through, and god damn im hungry LOL... i cant wait untill my ears heal up... but its fucking taking forever man u_________u like seriously im twitching ;8;88;;8...;;8............;8....LOL... anyways i didnt get to see Taline this weekend [or twilight >.>] and i guess thats okay :\... ermm OH I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE ITS DECEMBER ALREADY! like shit are you kidding me! i feel like i started school like 2 months ago when in reality it was like 4... 4 months have gone by and im almost into my second semester, its soon going to be 2009....in a couple more months ima be in grade 11....like....fuck take it in.....TAKE IT IN THAT THE YEARS ALMOST DONE...take......it.....in....;8;8;8...shit son... o.o.......

xoRAT

Labels: school