My name is Tamar, I'm 16 and this is where I say what I want to say you dumb African
"Life it’s self is only a vision, a dream, nothing exists in an empty space. And you... you are nothing but a thought. "

Me and Sarkis broke up again.
This time we're not getting back together... I guess...
I'm probably going to delete him off my facebook, delete all the texts and pictures, give back anything that will remind me of him and get over him and move on with my life. I'll only let him talk to me if he really needs someone... and only as a friend. No one understands the amount of pain I have in my heart right now.
He wrote on my phone cover his initials "ST"...I wrote "start with love" to cover it up...This whole thing hurts more than anything he's ever done to me... And what hurts the most... is the fact that I have no one to talk to... I have no one...everyone is sick of hearing about him.. I have all these secrets locked up inside my heart and I just want to go to someone and let them out. I wish I could write them here... but I can't.
During march break I'm going to go up there for the day and give him his painting, his shirt, drumsticks, anything he's given me. I can't give him the shoes he bought me, but I'll give him money for them.
The main reason I want to kill myself is because I can't handle this pain. He's not the only reason I want to die... all the other bullshit in my life adds up too... I'm so tired of being hurt when all I do is put my heart into everyone.
Whatever, I'm worthless and have no use for this earth but that's the way my life is.

RATxo